that's all you know right now
by etotheswan
Summary: "You look up at her and sometimes it still strikes you how far you two have come. Because two years ago? She wouldn't have given a good goddamn and you wouldn't have wanted her to ask." Takes place after 3x20. Swan Queen fill in the blanks.


**A/N: I've been wanting to start filling in the blanks in episodes for quite some time. I did it once before with You've Never Felt More Alone (3x16) and What Happened in the Apartment (3x17), but haven't done much since then. This is another try. :) Hope you enjoy it!**

**that's all you know right now**

It's this new baby brother and a life you never had.

It's fear and doubt and new adventures you aren't sure if you want.

It's Hook and maybe you _should _love him since he seems like the only one that _wants _you.

It's Regina and the way she's clinging to Hood, as if he's the only one that wants _her._

It's a million little things that make no sense and goddammit why did you drink that _fucking_ potion?

You're outside now, leaning against the brick wall of the hospital, taking deep breaths, trying to figure this all out when you remember the life you had in New York City - and the way the trees will be budding out and the sounds of spring will be filling the air - when you hear the gentle sound of a throat clearing. "Hook," you start without looking, "I'm not changing my mind about New York. So, please stop trying."

"Oh. _Really_?"

Your head snaps towards the voice and immediately there's fear in your stomach that wasn't there earlier. "Regina," you breathe. _Fuck_.

"I came back to see the baby. Make sure everyone was okay. Snow and David said you needed some air," she says before you can say another word. She clicks a little closer to where you're leaning. Not so close, but close enough that you can actually smell her magic, which is still so weird for you.

"He's cute," you say, trying to calm yourself down. Maybe she won't say anything about your faux pas.

"He is," she responds. "Are you okay?"

You look up at her and sometimes it still strikes you how far you two have come. Because two years ago? She wouldn't have given a good goddamn and you wouldn't have wanted her to ask. "I'm," you start before really actually thinking about your answer. "I guess I'm okay? I mean, for now."

She nods her head and she's still looking at you with those dark eyes. "So, you're planning on leaving." Those words actually stop your heart a little bit. "I'm so glad you've decided to discuss this with me."

"It's not what it seems," you stammer, pushing off the wall and taking a step towards her. Regina's arms are crossed and she's not happy, but she's not _shocked_, and that is at least a good sign, because shocking the brunette is a surefire way to get yourself maimed. You put a hand out and try to explain. "I just know he was happier there. And he was safer."

"Happier? Than when he was here with me, is what you mean. And really? In a city with murderers and gangs and 8 and a half million people. He's _safer_?"

The way Regina says it isn't really meant to come across as sarcastic, but it is so coated with sarcasm and _evil queen_ that for the briefest of moments you kind of wish it would have been Hook instead of Regina, because at least he's a bumbling idiot. "It's not that he was happier because you weren't there. We _talked _about this, Regina. And there's not the imminent threat of someone trying to kill _specifically _him. You know that."

"You don't think I can keep him safe?"

"It's not that, Regina."

"Then what is it, _Emma_?" She asks, her voice is strained and there is the Regina you're starting to _like_. The one that isn't mean or hateful. The one that is scared, but real, and heartbroken, but survives. She looks down at the ground and her hair falls over half of her face. Before she looks back up at you, she says, softly, "I promised I would never let him go again. And it wasn't a promise I intend to break."

You take a couple more steps towards her, the sound of your heeled boots clacking on the cement. You're taller than her, but not by much because of her heels and when she finally looks up at you, her eyes are filled with tears and it's too fucking much. "I can't protect him here, Regina. I _can't._"

"Then _why _did you kiss him, Emma? Why? You knew it was his lips that would take everything away from you. You knew it and you still did it… I just don't _understand _it."

"I didn't _kiss _him! He was dying! I wasn't going to let him drown! I gave him CPR and that's it." You throw your hands out to the side and realize you're basically yelling at her, trying to get your point across. "And for fuck's sake, I am not _yearning _for him! So, stop!"

"Then why couldn't you say that? Hmm? Why couldn't you say that inside? Just say you gave him CPR and leave it at that?"

"Because Henry was standing right there," you answer. Fuck this _shit_. "This is not about me and Hook, Regina. It's about Henry. And _this_. This right here is one of the reasons why we will not be staying in Storybrooke."

"What are you talking about? What is _'this_?'"

"Because I do not want to be with _Hook_, Regina. And _here _it's acceptable. It's acceptable and expected and why not just march down to the fucking mayor's office and have you do the ceremony? But there? In New York?" You stop and rake your fingers through your hair, push it back from your face, cross your arms, breathe deep. "I just don't want to stay here. It's not the same Storybrooke for me. And I don't want to be here and I don't want Henry to be here anymore, either."

"I don't want to be here without him," Regina whispers, her eyes so filled with tears that just one blink will send them rolling down her pink cheeks. "Without-" she stops, though, and does not finish her sentence, but she's _looking _at you. You've seen that look before. What does it mean, you're not 100% sure, but you _know_ that _look_. It's a confession without a _confession_.

It's enough to take your breath away, but you open your mouth and say, "Then come with us."

Regina blinks and the tears fall and she opens her mouth to say something and no sound exits.

"Come with us. Come to New York. _Leave_."

She blinks a couple more times, closes her mouth, opens it again, then closes it. She hugs her body tighter, a shrug of her shoulder, and she moves her eyes away from yours.

"You can now. There is no barrier. You can come with us. And have a life that isn't here and isn't tied down to this _place._" You're not really sure why you're so adamant about leaving, but it's not something you want to budge on, so bringing her with seems like the only compromise right now.

"Emma," she finally says. Her voice is breathless, strained.

You cross your arms, look down at the ground, scrape the heel of your boot across the pavement. "It's not really feasible, is it?" You glance over at her, through your eyelashes, keeping your head down.

She raises her eyes, identically glancing at you. "Not really," she answers, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Sounded like a pretty awesome idea, though… at first," your voice trails off. It actually is the only good idea you've had in quite some time.

Regina sniffles, then lowers her gaze again. "Just stay. Don't leave. Don't… let others influence your destiny and how you want to live your life." She turns to leave after saying those words and it strikes you how ironic it is - coming from her.

"Regina," you say and she stops in her tracks, turns slightly to look back at you, her tear stained cheeks, "Take your own advice." She keeps looking at you. And you wait a beat before saying, "It's _only_ a _stupid _tattoo." You barely recognize your own voice.

Her face changes. Softens. She wants to ask how you _know_, but it doesn't matter. Because really? All you know right now is that it's what you believe. And you said it and maybe, just maybe, you'll stay now.


End file.
